I have had a couple of my friends fall out with me recently because i made this simple statement;


I didn’t mean to upset anyone, but its true and they needed to be told.

They might be cat lovers but they are definetly not animal lovers.

People who keep cats cannot describe themselves as animal lovers, because they are either the facilitators, or the practitioners of animal cruelty.

Here is the logic behind that statement;

If you let your cat outdoors it will hunt and kill native species of birds etc.

It will dig up your neighbours garden.

It will shit on your neighbours property.

If peoples dogs were running round killing things and digging up the neighbour’s gardens, there would be an outcry, but because cats do most of their dirty deeds under the cover of darkness they get away with it.

Stalking around our towns by night causing havoc, and hiding out by day in the disguise of a fluffy family pet.

A family pet that murders for fun.



Only showing their trophies, and their true nature to their owners.

And their so called animal lover owners help to cover up the killings by hiding the bodies.

I had a friend who said that her cat was not like that and never ever killed anything, but when pressed about it she admitted that it did bring things in, but only once or twice a week.

Even if your cat only kills animals once or twice a week that is still 50 to 100 plus creatures killed in a year, and a domestic cat can live for 15 years so that’s up to 1,500 deaths of native species caused by just one domestic cat.

The worse thing was that this woman also has bird feeders up in her garden, tempting the victims in to that her pet killer can murder them for fun.

Rather than being an animal lover, she is an accomplice in animal killing.


Of course not all cat owners are aiding and abetting their little death dealers in the slaughter.

Many people get round this problem by keeping their cats indoors all the time.

The so-called “house cat”.


Sorry to burst your bubble….but;

There is no such thing as a house cat; it is just a cat that has the misfortune of belonging to the sort of people who are willing keep it imprisoned for life.

Locked up indoors all day, every day, day after day, all year, for all of its life.

A living creature locked up for the entirety of its life, simply for your pleasure.

A life sentence so that you can stroke it occasionally.

If your cat is happy in the house all day, then why is it always looking out of the window?

Looking out the window at a world that it will never be allowed to experience.


No wonder that when you return home your cat seems happy to see you, the poor thing is desperately bored and lonely.

When you take the hood off a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay, I bet that they are quite pleased to see you.

What cat owners think of as love is actually Stockholm Syndrome.

bottle,cat,trapped-5736e94e03bb68d7727214fce7a01698_hA cat can live for 15 years, locked up indoors for 15 years.

A domestic cat will range up over surprisingly large distances on its nocturnal excursions, have a look at this link:

By anyone’s standards keeping one locked up all the time is a cruel and unusual punishment.

Except that unfortunately it is not at all unusual.

This is definitely not the behaviour of an animal lover.

Perhaps there is another option if you insist upon keeping a cat; Take your cat for a walk on a lead.

This is done so rarely that you hardly ever see it done.

cat lead

This all brings me to the conclusion that however you are keeping your cat there is some cruelty involved, either to the native creatures that get toyed with and killed or to the cat itself.

Imagine if someone you knew had a dog that never left the house, that never got a walk, never in its entire life.

You would be straight on the phone to the RSPCA.

In my opinion cats are totally unsuitable animals to be kept as pets; you can’t let them out with causing damage to native wildlife, and you can’t keep them in, as that is cruel to the cat.

There is an alternative;


Dogs have all the same good qualities of a cat, a loving companion, fun to play with, like being stroked. But with the added advantage that you can, (indeed you have to), take it out for walks.

And I think this highlights the real reason why most so called “cat lovers” are attracted to cats;

They are a pet that you do not have to invest very much effort into.

A cat is a pet for people who can’t really be bothered caring for a pet.

If the majority of your interaction with your pet happens with you sitting on the sofa then something is wrong.


Of course not all dog owners are the sort of people who you would trust to look after a living creature.

There are a whole group of dog owners who I would like to see banned from ever keeping pets.

These people have an entire industry dedicated to supplying them with the items they need to publicly display their unsuitability as pet owners.

I am of course talking about the people who like to dress their dog up in human clothes!

dog princess

Dogs are not dolls for you to play dress up with!

They are living creatures not your toys.

Within this group of people who indulge in this forced anthropomorphic cross-dressing, there is an even crueler faction, the worst of the worst;

The people who dress, and treat their dogs like human babies.


Clearly this is wrong.

I’ve even seen dogs with little booties on their feet.

Anybody who dresses a dog like a human child should not be allowed to have a dog…or a child.

Next time you see a person who is treating a dog like this, look at them a little bit closer, are they a well balanced, fully functioning member of society?

No of course they are not!

They are clearly a fucking weirdo!

It’s not cute, it’s not funny, (well sometimes it is funny, but only if it is a one off joke and not how the poor creature will be treated for its entire life).

Spider dog

Ok now I realise that many people will think I am being a bit harsh here, that this is just harmless fun, so consider this;

Think how we would feel if that same adult instead of having a dressed up dog, had a doll that they dressed up.

Imagine if they were carrying a doll around with them.

An adult with a doll that they dressed up, that they took out for walks, and showed to people for them to say how cute their doll was.

We would think that there was something wrong with them.

Well that is exactly how we should view this behaviour when its victim is a dog.

A dog is not a substitute for a child, so if you really want something to dress up and play with get a doll, not a dog.

If there really was a god, (of course there fucking isn’t…grow the fuck up).

If there really was a god, or any natural justice in the world, then if these dodgy doggy dress up dickheads ever actually did manage to find someone to procreate with, and had a baby… then it would come out looking like a pug!

baby pug

Actually all babies do start out pug ugly…

But don’t get me started on babies.







  1. James Quigley

    There’s only one solution: murder all cats. I’ve just started after reading this inspiring blog. When will you start?

    • Kevin Gildea

      Cats are closer to human relationships because they sometimes don’t give a shit – they challenge you with their independence. Dogs are pathetic collaborators who are so subservient that
      you get to project whatever shit you want onto them – they are the ‘cuddly toys’ of the animal world. You might as well own a mirror.

  2. jamesdonlan

    The dead birds provide food for insects which in turn provide food for birds that are smart enough not to get eaten by a cat. Welcome to the food chain/natural selection mate.

    • cheesethin

      Yes, natural selection will be at work on the gene pool of rodents, and small birds, around where cats live. But that doesn’t change the fact that we humans have a choice as to what impact we have on our environment. It is the ‘natural’ state of a tiger to hunt and kill, but if I let one loose in Tesco, I’m a bit of a twat (by my own personal standards). Just saying ‘oh it’s nature’ doesn’t mean we aren’t making choices. How we judge our choices is up for discussion………

      • cheesethin

        (Disclosure: I’m a cat owner who: regularly releases the non-dead mice back into the wild; who’s hardened his heart to the half-eaten mice he throws in the bin; who is anguished on the rarer times a bird is brought in; and who loves tickling the warm tummy of his yummy-wummy snoogly-bear pussy-wussy. Shit – my life appears to have emotional conflicts…….)

  3. Gillian Simpson

    Can I ask, are you an animal behavioural specialist? How do you happen to know so much about cat behaviour? Yup I understand that cats shouldn’t be let outdoors, but seen as they like to sleep for like 20 hours a day, surly it’s ok to be indoors?

    • Martin Mor - Thoughts and jokes.

      Hello Gillian,
      Perhaps the cats that you have observed sleeping for 20 hours a day were only doing so because they were bored senseless by being locked indoors all day.
      And yes I am indeed and animal behavioural specialist.
      I have a new book out right now on this very subject, it is called CATS ARE CUNTS and is available from all good bookshops.

  4. Katie

    Your a bellend. End of day we kill animals to eat in everyday life? And because cats eat a few birds that ales them terrible animals?

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