BASTARD BORING BLOODY BASTARD BEATLES!

YOU KNOW YOU MAKE ME WANT TO SHOUT.

Recently on Twitter I accidentally provoked  quite a lot of people to angrily SHOUT at me about a tweet that I had posted.

Now that is pretty much par for the course for me on twitter.

I think that if you are ever endeavoring to say something interesting, some people will always disagree with you.

If you are actually engaging with people, and saying something worth saying, then you are bound to rub someone up the wrong way.

In fact when I see professional comedians, and other people who are paid to talk about their thoughts and opinions, who have a platform on Twitter but never make jokes or state opinions, never say anything at all to spark debate and reaction, then I am always suspicious about their reasons for being on twitter in the first place.

Is it really just a place to advertise your shows, but without giving people a taste of what your sense of humour actually is?

Social networks are a brilliant way for people to check out how interesting a comedian is before they spend their hard earned cash going to see them.

I tweet loads of jokes, almost every day.

If you like these jokes then you might like to come and see me live.

If you don’t like them, then don’t come to see me live, I am happy to have saved you both  time and money.

(And to have saved myself from having an audience full of easily offended dickheads).

Check it out for yourself:

If a professional comedian is on Twitter, and they rarely post any jokes, or indeed rarely say anything interesting, question what the fuck they are doing on there, and why you would go to see them?

So I’m pleased to say that sometimes on Twitter my tweets receive a fair bit of negative feedback.

Which I really like, it makes me feel that by sparking debate and reaction, I am at least getting into interesting territory.

(Why would anyone bother to respond to me if I had not been a bit thought provoking?)

Hopefully I also manage to make the interesting subject funny while I’m there, or at the very least entertaining.

Sometimes the negative criticism comes from people wanting to have an intelligent debate about subjects that we disagree on, but more often its abuse and death threats from those people who are so full of doubt and hate that they cannot bear to have anyone voice an opinion that disagrees with their own view of the world.

There is a word for this sort of person…

Oh yes Christians.

By far the most abuse I ever get on twitter is from the “Love one another “ brigade.

I have grown to expect that now, and certainly my online debates with the Non Thinking members of the Christian Club, the Creationists, can be very amusing.

In fact, I love it.

Having contact with these people makes it almost impossible not to write jokes.

In an effort toward impartiality I should point out that other religious idiots are available.

Shop around and I’m sure you will find a group that suits you own personal tastes in stupidity.

Osmonds

Also on a regular basis I get abuse from Tories and other right wing fanatics.

Usually about taking the name of Dave Cameron and his evil disciples in vain.

Now here I feel that I am actually doing a service to society by absorbing this hatred and channeling it into comedy, thus robbing them of some of their status, and distracting them from reading the Daily Express and getting more powerful.

the-ultimate-daily-express-front-page-v1

Everyday that a Daily Express reader is allowed to go unchallenged they get more powerful until eventually they morph into a Tory Grandee.

If left totally unchecked this can be very dangerous indeed.

This has been proven by scientists who read the Daily Express aloud to a lab rat 24 hours a day for 6 months.

The lab rat eventually could take no more of this cruel and unusual treatment, and escaped into the wild, where it became better known as Nick Griffin.

BNP-leader-Nick-Griffin-001

So I am very used to Twitter being a place of disagreements, but recently I was surprised by an angry mob complete with burning torches and pitchforks who turned up at my Cyberspace door.

Now, most regular users of Twitter know that it is  a bad idea to tweet jokes about Justin Bieber as you get thousands of BELIEBERS filling your timeline with abuse, and as they are mostly young teenage girls, no one has enough time in their life to be able to explain why it was a joke, and why they should see the funny side.

bieberfans100710

Now I know a few guys who would like nothing better than to be abused and humiliated by teenage girls, but that is a story for another blog.

But this mob where different from the BELIEBERS in that they were mostly adults.

They were BEATLELIEBERS.

Mersey Beatles 3

I had posted a tweet that read:

“I hate the bastard boring bloody bastard Beatles”.

Now can I just say that I do not actually “hate” the bastard boring bastard Beatles.

I have only a limited amount of hate to go around, and I find that I allocate most of mine to David Cameron and George Osborne.

But I light heartedly posted:

“I hate the bastard boring bloody bastard Beatles”.

 And  before you could say Eleanor Rigby I had the Beatle Fans at my throat.

Now i’m sure that you have noticed how some people just cannot bear to hear anything negative said about the Beatles.

If you are one of these people please stop reading now.

Look at this photo.

Chinese-Beatles

Mumble “best band ever” to yourself, wipe away a tear for Saint John of Merseyside, and move on with you life. (Or stubbornly don’t move on as the case might be).

Here comes an opinion that has made me quite unpopular at family gatherings, parties, even once at a Bar Mitzvah.

I THINK THE BEATLES ARE OVERRATED.

There I’ve said it.

It is now  on the permanent record that is the internet.

It is out there for the entire world to read.

I THINK THE BEATLES ARE OVERRATED.

Now I feel a lot better for saying it.

I’m out of the closet.

In fact I would encourage all of you people who don’t really like the Beatles to come forward, be free to speak your mind.

Liberate yourself from all these years of biting your tongue and nodding along to “Yesterday”.

You can be free of living this lie.

You are not alone; you don’t have to pretend to like the Beatles anymore.

All you need is love, and a good pair of running shoes.

Beatles badge

Now many people will dismiss this by saying that the over the top reaction is just coming from The Paramilitary Wing of the Beatles Fan Club, or Scousers as they are often known.

But that has not been my experience.

The people of Liverpool are rightly proud to have had a successful band come out of Liverpool, and the City does well out of the pilgrims from all over the world who come to receive blessings and pay their respects at the Beatles Story Exhibition; £15 entrance fee.

Beatles story

I can understand Scousers having a biased view, just as I can understand Palestinian children throwing stones at the Israeli army to try to keep them off their land.

These people once had a lot, now this is all they have left and they want to protect it.

Ok here is my honest opinion;

The Beatles were a great boy band.

In fact they are the most successful boy band in the history of pop music.

But that’s not enough for their fans… The Beatles have to be the greatest band ever.

No they were a great boy band and that’s as far as it goes.

They were the One Direction of their day.

1-Direction-Out-About-Doing-The-Beatles-Famous-Walk-x-one-direction-17140825-500-293

Now this is where Beatles fans might want to point out that the Beatles actually wrote their own songs.

Ok I accept that point.

They were the Take That of their day.

Take That Beatles Medley 1994 Brit Awards BRITS

Lennon and McCartney were the Gary Barlow of  their day.

Many people have spoken of how the Beatles looked so good with their famous Mop Top haircuts.

But really great bands don’t need gimmicks to sell their music.

Really great bands let the music do the talking, and leave the gimmicks to the desperate.

With their Mop Top haircuts, The Beatles were the Jedwood of their day.

jedward

It is a little known fact that the Beatles met Jedwood’s Mum on a visit to Ireland in the 1960s.

Jedwoods MumJust listen to the Beatles; it was music for teenage girls to scream to.

What is the difference between Beatles fans…

HU043827

…and One Direction Fans?

! D

The only difference is the One Direction fans are still children, most of those Beatles fans are now grown adults and should fucking know better.

There really is no doubt that The Beatles were great Pop Music for the masses.

But by its very definition music that has mass appeal is not ground breaking or innovative.

A prophet is never popular in his own land.

The Beatles were very, very popular.

The Beatles were just a very good pop group, not groundbreaking, not the greatest band ever.

Just a really good pop group.

In fact the Beatles are in my TOP THREE POP GROUPS OF ALL TIME, just behind E17 and The Back Street Boys.

backstreet-boys-4fe94c3a30161

8 comments

  1. jhbljhg

    LOL oooooo you are not going to be popular anymore, how will you cope??? One Direction write some of their own songs you know……not that I’m a fan, my 8 year old daughter is…..took her to see them. They are definately todays Beatles and are just a great boy band. They are not Metallica or Rush or Maiden…..never will be. Maybe Niall will be the next James Hetfield…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  2. Shaun David Doane

    Once again Martin you have hit the nail on the head and blogged exactly what I have been thinking and occasionally expressing for may years, I like the Beatles, some of their songs are beyond beautiful, but OH MY FUCKING CHRIST THEY ARE OVERRATED…. I’m so happy that I am not the only one who has seen this and doesnt kow-tow to the Beatlemaniacs. Hope to see you back at the Last Laugh soon

  3. Karina

    I love reading your views and I do share a lot of them, well most if not all including your Beatles bashing, I would go one step further and suggest Elvis Presley was also overrated and have said so many times but each to their own I guess. I once had a hate campaign launched against me by a member of a comedy forum for saying I liked Muse, ok their music won’t appeal to everybody but this hatred went beyond what I would say is “normal” just for expressing a preference. It’s amazing how many so called friends refuse to get involved in a dispute too, even one involving a lot of nasty comments 😉 Love your blogs Martin xxx

  4. Johnthewatch Gibney

    It goes against the grain, but I have to agree with you! I don’t HATE the Beatles, but they are definitely overrated! As is Elvis and are the Beach Boys, oh Lord, the Beach Boys!! Now I possibly hate them!

  5. Garrett Miller

    Hi Martin,

    My name is Garrett Miller and I work for 1World Online, a public opinion research startup based in San Jose, CA.

    We are planning a poll to run on our website/mobile app, asking if people think the Beatles are the best band of all time, and would like to feature an excerpt from your blog, making the argument that they are overrated: https://martinmorblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/01/bastard-boring-bloody-bastard-beatles/.

    We will provide full attribution to you as the author and will gladly post a hotlink to your blog from our own website and app, to direct our (15,000+) members and viewers to your site.

    Please let me know if you are interested, or if you have any more questions regarding our service. In the meantime, feel free to explore our site, http://www.1worldonline.com

    Sincerely,

    Garrett Miller,
    Content Editor
    1World Online, Inc.

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