I have been getting stopped in the street quite a lot recently by people who think that they recognise me from somewhere.
At first I thought it was from my shows, or perhaps my efforts on social networks was paying off.
But slowly I have come to the conclusion that it is actually because of this;

It’s the poster for DreamWorks new film; The Rise of the Guardians.
I must admit that i can see the similarity;

Once in Glasgow I had a man run up to me, out of breath and very excited, he had spotted me from his bus, got off and ran to catch up with me, so that he could ask for my autograph.
This doesn’t happen to me all that often, and I admit that I was a bit flattered.
He had seen me on a TV show that aired the previous night, and had recognised me in the street.
I signed my autograph on his piece of paper, and handed it back.
“Thanks Martin” he said, still a bit out of breath from running.
“Thanks very much……you were shite by the way”


Q: What do you call someone who only eats Circus Sideshow performers?
A: A Carnivore.

The first creature that dragged itself out of the water, and onto the land, had absolutely no idea that some of its descendants would become creationists.

I find Russel Howard utterly unwatchable, thus proving, once and for all, that i am not a teenage girl.

Here is a fun drinking game to play during BBC Children in Need.
Take a drink every time you see a male celebrity with an erection.

Nick Clegg looks like a man who has had his soul pulled out through his arse.

Clearly Israel thought Romney was going to get in.
Now they need to use the missiles before they pass their sell by date.

Freak Floods are happening all over the world.
the Lord works in mysterious waves.

The Irish National Rowing Team have been accused of having too many foreign oarsmen.
They are up the creek without a paddy.

God created everything in the Universe, and he loves us all unconditionally.
Unless you are gay and want to get married!


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